December so all the low mileage 340's start to appear for sale. Some nice looking Plain Jane cars on eBay at the moment, and there is that white one on Autotrader for a remarkable asking price of £2k. I find it amusing that many of the sellers describe their cars as one-off examples when there are three or four similar cars also on offer for sale on the same site.

Makes me wonder that the original owners were aspirational Volvoists buying into the brand, but didn't quite have the pennies to buy a 1.7 litre, the GLT or even a 240 series [that they probably lusted for!]. Why do we see so many 340GL's with minimal miles, but the larger engined cars tend to be more used examples?

Personally when I bought my car I went for one that was being used as Volvo intended. These low mileage things are all well and good, but bearings etc. must dry out over time due to lack of use. And what if a bit of damp got into the gearbox....

.................nobody wants to be the cause of dampness in the box man.

Well, apart from you, me and russel brand.

I like the random directions you take things. Those toads; did you rub them on, or smoke them? I understand that in some parts of America smoked toad is hallucinogenic.

But you're right; we can be a tad anal here so do please carry on the good subversive work! Ultimately what the f**k do I care whether or not some car in Yeovile or wherever hasn't run in 6 years!! Today must have been one of those days I was scared to go out into the real world, so decided to post some utter tosh on the web.

Personally I find it amusing that somebody buys a car to use for less than 40 miles per week. It would be far cheaper just to call a taxi each time you wanted to go anywhere than own one of these cars for 20 years. What were they thinking? "I'll impress the neighbours by buying a base specification car, never use it but have it serviced regularly by main agents for 20 years."

Of course the upside of someone doing that is that some fortunate pleb like me can be lucky enough to end up paying pennies for a car thats been wrapped in cotton wool for 20 years, hardly ever used, and kept in immaculate order.

Thank god for the anal.

Er, maybe i should change that to 'fanatical owners'.

For the record, I rubbed the the toad on by Pods, then licked it, then smoked it.

And I didny get high. I just got warts.